reflections, man

Hidden little park near my home - Ulsan, Korea

One year. I made it! I've survived.

I say survived like being here for one year is something to endure, and not enjoy. As much of a challenge as it feels like sometimes, living in Korea has been exceptionally pain free. My quality of life is good in all major aspects. I have a job I enjoy, friends I love, a country that is exciting to explore, and enough money to make the most of all of it. I've done so much in my time here. I'll do my best to sum some of it up. SUM SOME. Ha!

Taxi rides with my baby

I've survived without Mexican food, my own car, easy access to organic goods, and some of my favorite extracurricular activities.

I've visited two countries, and have two more (at least) to knock off the list before this year is over.

I've become slightly more well versed in "extreme" sports and getting my adrenaline pumping in the form of scuba diving, rock climbing, zip-lining, ropes course, caving, and rafting. To be honest, the latter weren't all that extreme, unless we're talking Korean standards.

Namhae Island, Korea

I've opened up a whole new underwater world that's going to be, undoubtedly, my favorite and most expensive hobby for the entirety of my life. It's worth every penny. It's been months since I last dove and every time I see a picture of any underwater creature or look back at my experience in Thailand - this WAVE of nostalgia and longing crashes over me (pun entirely intended). I don't understand why I'm not always in the water, swimming with fishes in the calming and quiet depths of the sea. 

 

Samsung Lions baseball game - Daegu, Korea

Street performers, hypnotizing young girls with their fresh dance moves - Hongdae, Seoul

I've watched countless Korean dramas and listened to more than my fair share of K-pop. I've used these weapons to my advantage in the classroom, connecting with the kids on a level that excites them. Dramas also do this thing where they play the same three songs from the soundtrack, depending on the mood of the scene. Romantic scene? Cue romantic song. I've accumulated quite the list of Korean songs I can *almost* lip sync. Oh, and I've become more comfortable belting out love ballads in a Norebang (karaoke) room than I could have ever imagined.

I've learned enough functional Korean to allow me to order food, haggle, and express my excitement about the opening of a new tunnel to my taxi driver (who thankfully shared my joy). I, by no means, am anywhere near able to speak Korean. Throughout this next year, I'm sure my database of phrases will grow. Maybe I'll even be able to piece together cohesive sentences. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.

That being said, I've learned how to communicate with a very limited vocabulary and quite a creative assortment of hand motions/facial expressions. I have a deep appreciation for western grocery stores and customer service, although I have learned to do without reading nutrition labels and returning items. I've learned how to adapt recipes using the ingredients I have on hand, and how to live without a proper oven.

I have gained weight and lost it and gained it again. I've struggled with body image a lot, not only in Korea. When I first arrived here, I was the healthiest and smallest I've ever been in my adult life. When I was home, it was easy to maintain. Unfortunately when I moved here it wasn't quite as easy settling into a diet and lifestyle that would have been effective in maintaining that version of myself. The excitement of new foods and effects of having a full time job and extracurriculars have taken a toll on my waistline. For a while I've had this, "OMG I need to lose weight before I visit Vegas. I need to look the same as when I left." Despite all the things hindering that goal (mainly my lack of desire to work out three times a day) I have done my best to foster a mindset that accepts myself as I am now - not worrying everyday about where I use to be and where I want to be. I've started living my life by making the best choices I can each day, and not beating myself up if I don't go to the gym. I feel much healthier and happier just by changing my mindset.

I've developed myself as a teacher, although not quite in the ways I was imagining. I've learned to roll with the punches and get kids to talk to me - and how to not be offended when they won't. I've figured out how to incorporate real lessons amongst boring book work. I've had a blast teaching my little students the different between "r" /"l" and "b"/"v". I still have to hold in my laughter when they just can't figure it out (despite my explicit, ridiculous examples of tongue/teeth placement).  Sometimes, especially with my younger students, I can feel my self becoming a bit agitated. I wasn't "taught" how to teach students I couldn't effectively communicate with. Let me tell you though, I am quickly learning. I raised my voice more than I ever, EVER imagined I would - mainly because sometimes that is the only way to get them to understand that I am upset. Thankfully my students are more accustomed to me at this point and I need nothing more than the "look of shame" to coerce them. There have been countless moments where I have been on the verge of losing my cool. All it takes is a breath or two, separating myself from the teacher perspective and settling into the observer role. Just watching them interact is enough to calm me down. Still, when I am feeling a bit out of control - I look at their cute little faces and innocent smiles and it's SO hard not to be happy. Even the most destructive ones have the ability to make me laugh when they are being unmanageable. Behavior management isn't one of my strong points. The line between teacher and friend will be endlessly blurred. 

I've learned more about English grammar than I thought was possible. I've discovered explanations for things I didn't even realize had one. Past Participle? Gerund? All new vocabulary to me. Psssh. I often have to warn my kids that most of the time, we are doing this whole "learning" thing together. Not only that, but I care more about grammar than I ever have before. Check my recent Google searches if you want proof.

I've experienced experience on top of experience, some of which can never be categorized or put into words. EXPERIENCE. My favorite word and ultimate goal in life. Sue me for saying it a thousand times; I would still think that being sued was a great learning experience. 

Pyeongchang County, Korea

It was two years ago that I was frolicking throughout Europe. Between my Timehop app and Dropbox account, I've had constant reminders of what mischief I was up to. It's weird looking back on those pictures and memories. I get this feeling. A weird combination of nostalgia and desire. I can remember what it felt like, living for a few weeks in a little Italian village or waking up spooning my backpack in a train station - but the specific and detailed hard copy memories have faded.

In a few years time, these moments I am living now will be reduced to not much more than a feeling. A feeling that categorizes my time spent in Korea. An association with a time that once was, triggered by a smell or a word or a song.

It's crazy, and almost humbling, to acknowledge this fact. I will constantly be replacing what once was with what is now. Shuffling through old memories for more current ones.

Eoreumchi Village - Pyeongchang County, Korea

Everything I do won't always be fresh in my mind. I can take thousands of pictures and write until my fingers are tired, the memories will still dwindle. Regardless, all the things I've done can never be undone. They will never become less meaningful. They will never stop having an impact on me, even after they've been forgotten.

Throughout my life there will be small, nanoseconds of recognition of the moments that had previously been lost in the jumble of my mind.  It's almost like a little gift that my brain is giving me. "Hey Ellie, you haven't thought about x, y, and z in years. Here's a little reminder."

To me, this is why it is SO important to be continuously be present. Not only is it increasingly difficult to be consumed with what has happened in the past and what you want to happen in the future; it takes away from what is happening now. Appreciate this moment for what it is RIGHT NOW. This is the only chance you have to feel it. Take it all in. Don't worry so much about recording it. Don't worry about the video footage or potential Instagram post. Focus on the smells and the sounds and how hard your heart is beating. Listen to the people who are speaking. Let the taste of the food sit on your tongue a little longer. Acknowledge your anxiety and how relieving it is to finally take your seat on the train or check into your hostel. Look around. Slow down. Live each moment wholeheartedly, because it will never be the same. You will never be able to do it justice through pictures, storytelling, or video compilation. Take as much as you can from the moment and let it become apart of you. That is your best chance at preservation. Expect less and experience more. EXPERIENCE.

Namehae Island crew, round 1

up up and away

I'm sitting on the plane, playing Tetris and listening to music. And then. It happened. I realized I am currently flying over somewhere I've never been before. Uncharted territory. My heart started racing, a feeling that I am all too familiar with. The prospect of things unknown. Places undiscovered. The plane understands, and shakes with my excitement. I think they call it turbulence. 

Who knew Asia was so big? I didn't. Cause I had never been here before. I could have easily looked at a map, but still it wouldn't have made sense like it does now. There are certain things that just can't be conceptualized until you are the one experiencing it for yourself.

In Europe I could shoot between countries with ease. A 45 minute plane ride here. Couple hours on a train there. Getting from Korea to Thailand is taking north of 6 hours. And there I was, going and being all clueless. Definitely thought a couple hours, at the most. 

That's one of my favorite things. Having my knowledge about this world challenged and reworked. 

It's interesting, the difference between arriving and departing. The feelings, especially. On the way, you're anxious and  filled with excitement and wonder. When you're leaving you foster feelings of  satisfaction, a high that can only come after living in a really awesome dream-like world that new places often seem like. These great feelings can be followed by a bit of sadness, longing, nostalgia. The adventure is over. Things that you have been looking forward to, that have been at the forefront of your mind for what seems like EVER, are now in the past.

I am one of the lucky ones. The less than desirable feelings never last too long. I always have something to look forward too. Not sure why, but it constantly seems like my adventure is never ending.  Coming home to Korea helps. My daily life always seems to have even a tad bit of mystery too it.

lucky lucky ducky. 

Sinwha Art Village

I can't get enough of my quaint little city. There are so many hidden gems. I have a pretty extensive list of places I have yet to explore, including a black pebble beach and amethyst mines. Not so recently (a few months ago, I've been slacking on this whole blog thing) I visited a traditional area of Ulsan formed in the 60s which has recently been converted into a mecca of murals, mainly dedicated to whales, naturally. Leena and I had a blast wandering the tiny streets admiring the colorful houses, barking dogs, and little working families tucked away in their homes.

Before heading into the village itself, we walked through a few personal gardens complete with cute little ajummas tending the plants. At one point I turned around to snap a shot and had to take a few moments observing the view above. Seeing the contrast of a rural like village and huge industrial plants put a lot about Ulsan into perspective for me. It is the industrial heart of Korea and houses the biggest shipyard in the world, both attributing to Ulsan being one of the "richest" cities in Korea. Despite that, there are still areas of the city which are less than telling of the cities industrial successes. 

Even though most of the art involved whales in some way, there was still a huge variety of things to look at throughout the village. It was impossible to walk three feet without seeing something new to catch your eye. Shacks, stairs, and doors were all covered in colorful paint. Leena and I probably spent close to two hours just wandering and snapping pictures around every corner.

To say that Ulsanites hold their history of whaling close to hearts is an understatement. Whales have been a huge part of their culture for A LONG TIME, according to petroglyphs in the surrounding area. Despite recent laws prohibiting the killing of whales as a means of profit, there are still loops holes. It isn't rare to see whale meat at the local fish market, unfortunately. Even though my heart cries at the thought of harpooning an innocent little whale, I try and remember that in the past it was a means of survival and has thus made an imprint on the culture of people in the area. Regardless, you won't catch me frying up any whale meat.

Land of the Deer

Seriously. So many deer. And they've been here forever. They are so used to tourists and are quite pushy when it comes to getting their biscuits. They're addicts and they aren't afraid to nudge, buck, and nibble to get their dose. 

After getting of the train with a Korean friend (Mars) I made at the station in Osaka we headed toward a few temples we wanted to check out. When I first saw deer ahead of us on the side walk, I was beyond exited. It wasn't long after that I realized these guys are everywhere. I found a cute old lady selling treats to give them and Mars and I were immediately bombarded with deer. Pushy little guys. We had a blast leading them around the park, teasing them and playing with them. They are so forward and pretty domesticated. 

I watched many shopkeepers shoo them out of their stores when they would venture a little to far into the shop. One of the shopkeepers was able to tell me that one of the deer that hung out around her shop was only a year old, and she pointed out the mother. How she was able to identify them out of the hundred of deer living in Nara was beyond me. As pesky as they may be, the locals love them like you would any other 4 legged furry friend. They are considered to be sacred messengers of Shinto gods

                      

We strolled through the small little town of Nara and checked out whatever temple was in our way. There were loads. We chose a nice, shady path lined with huge stone lanterns on the way to Kasuga. This temple is known for the thousands of bronze lanterns, but it was nearly 5 bucks to walk through them - we decided peering through the would be sufficient and saved our precious money for something we REALLY wanted to see.

I could have easily spent hours aimlessly exploring every nook and cranny of this little place. Around every bend there was something new that caught my eye. A little river here, a cluster of lanterns and statues there. Temple after temple, it was hard taking it all in. Mars and I found a beautiful temple situated at the top-ish of Nara. It was nice having him around cause he was able to help me figure out how to properly interactic with all these Buddhist things I have no experience with. Water fountains with cups, bells with brightly colored fabrics, incense and candles. He showed me the ropes when it came to these things and added a lot to my experience in this little town. 

                           

The view from this temple was unreal. I could see the tippity top of Todai-ji - The massive wooden structure  and main attraction in Nara. I really, really wanted to see this baby. Seeing it peaking over the trees got me so excited that I was able to ignore the growls from my stomach begging for food and frolic on in Todai-ji's direction instead.

It was so massive and so beautiful, I have never seen anything like it. Before walking in Mars and I lit some incense meant to clean the surrounding air of unwanted spirits and energies and made our way inside. I sat and stared at for at least 5 minutes before even bothering to take pictures of the huge Buddha that was sitting in front of me, situated peacefully on a lotus flower.

You are able to walk completely around the giant statue. It has two smaller shrines on either side with golden statues and smaller things to look at while you make your way around. There was a place you could practice calligraphy and a small hole in one of the wooden pillars that had a line accumulating around it. Thankfully Mars was there to explain why people (including grown men) were crawling through it. Apparently being able to fit through the tiny space guarantees you a spot in heaven. Challenge accepted. Once I get around to making a video compilation of my Japan footage you will be able to witness my attempt first hand :)

Osaka - The Venice of Japan

Oh, Saka. Despite being what some may consider a typical big city, I enjoyed it more than I thought. To be honest though, I didn't spend much time there. My couchsurfing host actually recommended not to spend the day in Osaka and instead head to Nara. I took his advice.  He is a local. He knows things. I definitely made the right choice, but I appreciated the time that I was able to explore the streets of Osaka.

I didn't leave Taka's place until 10ish, and with the last train leaving around 11:45 I didn't have much time to get my exploring in. I got off at the metro stop he suggested and started wandering in the general direction of the Dotonbori, a notorious street in Osaka known primarily for it's deliciously cheap food and extravagant shop front displays. I quickly found the ramen joint I was dying to try, mainly because they have kimchi to garnish your noodles with. Kinryu ramen is likely the most popular place to get ramen - so popular they have three lcations in the Dotonbori. All of their store fronts are adorned with giant Dragons. It wasn't hard to find.

I put my 900yen into a vending machine and pressed the picture of the ramen I wanted. It spit out a ticket for me to hand to the lovely man who was about to feed me my first proper Japanese ramen. I inhaled that giant bowl of noodles while sitting crossed legged on the tatami mat with a perfect view for people watching. Almost immediately after eating ramen I figured it was about as good a time as any to eat takoyaki - octopus balls. Not like, testicles. Just fried balls of octopus. They were wonderful, definitely better than the live baby octopus I ate in Korea. But, anything fried is automatically better.

I caught the last train to Taka's house and instead of heading straight home I decided to wander in the direction of a river and see what I could find on my way. I was happy to stumble upon a 7-11, one of my favorite snack stops in Korea. It was fun to compare the convenience stores in Japan to the ones back home. They definitely have a better selection of alcohol, food, and reading material. A stood in front of the drinks section for at least a minute contemplating whether or not to get a regular sized Strong or a tall can. A Strong is an alcoholic beverage in Japan, rightly named. 8% alcohol that comes in an assortment of fruity flavors? Sign me up. I picked up a small can, walked a few feet to the register and turned around to grab a tall can. The store clerk giggled. So did I.

I didn't make it as far as the river, but I did find a lovely park that I walked around and played on. How could I resist a set of swings? I definitely got a few stares from the few people making their way home. It probably isn't too often they see a white person swinging at a park in their neighborhood late at night with a Strong in hand.

The next day I woke up, shared tea and breakfast with Taka - and headed to Nara. After shopping all evening throughout the multiple shopping districts in Osaka, I came home that evening to a beautiful meal prepared by Taka. You can read all about it in my couchsurfing blog. I wanted to get to Kyoto the next day fairly early, so I had an early night. Pretty much spent the whole evening, and the next morning chatting with Taka. I really enjoyed his company and was happy to share my experience with him.

I came back to Osaka the last night of my trip since I was flying out the next day. I didn't want to have to worry about waking up and traveling too far to the airport. I found a super cheap hostel with a PRIVATE room, and AC. I was stoked to have my own space, not going to lie. I love hostels, but for some reason I wasn't interested in meeting a whole load of other people traveling. I was in the hostel long enough to set my stuff down and check out a map. I decided I wanted to go to a park nearby and set off. I don't know if I every actually made it to the park. I did, however, wander around some really cool areas of town.

One of the streets I walked down was filled with hole in the wall sushi joints, rooms full of old men playing some game I had never seen, men gambling on the ground, turtles that I assume were soon to be someones meal, and a lot of bike traffic. I got a lot of stares while walking down this street, most people seemed surprised to see me. Most stares were followed by smiles though, which is one thing I loved about Japan. Everyone seemed (relatively) happy.

At night I decided I wanted to visit Namba Parks, a giant shopping center with landscaping around the structure and a garden/park along the roof. I planned on getting dinner here and exploring some of the shops, looking for hopefully cheap and small things to bring back home with me to decorate my apartment. I ended up grabbing dinner here at a restaurant that specialized in cheese and then heading back towards the direction of the Dotonbori to wander more.

While walking around I decided I might as well pick up a cheap drink from a convenient store. While I was walking down the Dotonbori with a Strong Zero in my hand a Japanese man thought it was funny and tried to spark up a conversation with me using (pretty much) only the word "strong". "Ahh! Strong, very strong!" Acting out drunk stumbling and chugging drinks took place. He asked if I knew any Japanese. Thankfully I had my drink in hand and was able to point to the word "zero" written across my can. He was disappointed in our lack of communication, and so was I. My biggest pet peeve is not being able to communicate with a person. If I were a superhero, I would want the power of ALL languages. BAM.

After a few more hours of exploring I worked up another hunger somehow so I decided to have a second dinner. SECOND DINNER was the best choice I have ever made. I went to Kinryu again, just a different location on the same street. While waiting for my noodles I retrieved a beer out of a vending machine and a little old man started up conversation with me. This one had indoor tatami seating so after I topped my ramen with massive amounts of kimchi I sat down to eat. The man, Eiichiro, asked if he could have dinner with me. I was thrilled.

He was so excited to practice his English, and I was happy to have someone to share my meal with. I confessed my love for food and that I missed Kimchi. We talked about communicating and how he learned English, places we have traveled and things we have done. He kindly walked with me to the subway and helped me find the right train. I would have figured it out, but it probably would have taken more time considering I was definitely feeling the mere two drinks I had consumed. He shared candy with me on the train and reminded me when it was my stop. Even though our paths only crossed for a very short time, I was so lucky to have met him.

And then, once again, I made a convenient store stop before heading back into my hotel. I grabbed a drink and some dessert and went back to my private hostel room at Toyo and vegged out while organizing and packing.