Another Ending

Well, that escalated quickly. The last 6 weeks of my time in Korea were a whirlwind of... everything. Now, here I am. With only one more day left of work. Only 4 more days in Korea. One more Monday, a hundred more goodbyes.

So, I had this list of practically a million things I wanted to do before I left Korea. Places I wanted to go, things I wanted to experience. At first, it was daunting. The pressure of time started creeping up on me. Then I realized, as I have time and time before, that I can't do everything. I did, however, try to squeeze in as much as possible. Having my friend here helped. I had to be a good host... which entails getting out of the house more than I would have otherwise.

We hiked mountains, went to jimjilbangs, and visited new places. I ate more than enough Korean food, and indulged in more soju than necessary. 

My last few weeks were colored beautifully by faces of friends and students. I made it a point to enjoy every last second of my job. To really appreciate how great I've had it the last two years. I was lucky enough to develop some really awesome relationships with my students. I'm currently involved in several group chats, where they keep me updated on their new classes and I keep them updated on my current position in the world. 

I was really thankful for my last evening in my neighborhood. The weekend prior was tough. I wasn't able to do half the things I wanted to; tying up loose ends. I was rushing to write "Thank You" cards, clean my apartment, and pack up a box to send home and my backpack to travel with. My last day of work was filled with snacks and photo shoots. I had to run home after to meet a friend, and to convince her to take all of the left over things that I wasn't able to sell. Then, as I was rushing to meet coworkers for a drink... I realized that it was the perfect time to pop into my yoga studio for the last time to extend my gratitude to my instructors for being so kind and accommodating. I missed my last class, and was worried that I wasn't going to have time to say goodbye. They were so excited that I stopped by, and even offered for me to stay for the next class. Which I think they realized I really could have used, considering my frazzled and stressed demeanor. 

Gamcheon Village, Busan

Magkeolli and Pajeon after hiking

I declined and continued my sprint to the coffee shop, until I noticed the lady who has been serving me food for 2 years standing on the side of the street. I was so excited for the chance to say thanks that I didn't even get nervous trying to speak to her in Korean. It was our best conversation yet. I really wanted to let her know that I was leaving, and to let her know much I've appreciated her. I was able to explain than I was not coming back to Korea and that her food was delicious. She asked me why, to which I replied, "I miss my parents." This was all my limited vocabulary would allow. She said, "Why don't they come here?" To which I had no choice but to say, "They don't like Korea." Which isn't entirely true, but I think it got the point across. 

Then, it was time to say goodbye to my coworkers, two of which I have seen almost everyday since arriving in Korea. It was a long and drawn out goodbye, as none of us wanted to get up and actually initiate it. Apparently I've become really good at controlling my emotional switchboard - because I didn't break out into tears during any of my goodbyes (those under the influence of alcohol do not count). I grabbed an overpriced bottle of wine from the market for the last time, only to get home and realized one of my friends had claimed my wine opener as their own. That didn't stop me. I spent the next 20 minutes watching YouTube videos, trying to find a clever way to open it. Instead I just resorted to pushing it through, which ended in a burgundy stained tank top. I stayed up late and enjoyed my last night in my apartment, organizing and packing and appreciating.

 Simple. Exactly the way I needed it to be. 

reflections, man

Hidden little park near my home - Ulsan, Korea

One year. I made it! I've survived.

I say survived like being here for one year is something to endure, and not enjoy. As much of a challenge as it feels like sometimes, living in Korea has been exceptionally pain free. My quality of life is good in all major aspects. I have a job I enjoy, friends I love, a country that is exciting to explore, and enough money to make the most of all of it. I've done so much in my time here. I'll do my best to sum some of it up. SUM SOME. Ha!

Taxi rides with my baby

I've survived without Mexican food, my own car, easy access to organic goods, and some of my favorite extracurricular activities.

I've visited two countries, and have two more (at least) to knock off the list before this year is over.

I've become slightly more well versed in "extreme" sports and getting my adrenaline pumping in the form of scuba diving, rock climbing, zip-lining, ropes course, caving, and rafting. To be honest, the latter weren't all that extreme, unless we're talking Korean standards.

Namhae Island, Korea

I've opened up a whole new underwater world that's going to be, undoubtedly, my favorite and most expensive hobby for the entirety of my life. It's worth every penny. It's been months since I last dove and every time I see a picture of any underwater creature or look back at my experience in Thailand - this WAVE of nostalgia and longing crashes over me (pun entirely intended). I don't understand why I'm not always in the water, swimming with fishes in the calming and quiet depths of the sea. 

 

Samsung Lions baseball game - Daegu, Korea

Street performers, hypnotizing young girls with their fresh dance moves - Hongdae, Seoul

I've watched countless Korean dramas and listened to more than my fair share of K-pop. I've used these weapons to my advantage in the classroom, connecting with the kids on a level that excites them. Dramas also do this thing where they play the same three songs from the soundtrack, depending on the mood of the scene. Romantic scene? Cue romantic song. I've accumulated quite the list of Korean songs I can *almost* lip sync. Oh, and I've become more comfortable belting out love ballads in a Norebang (karaoke) room than I could have ever imagined.

I've learned enough functional Korean to allow me to order food, haggle, and express my excitement about the opening of a new tunnel to my taxi driver (who thankfully shared my joy). I, by no means, am anywhere near able to speak Korean. Throughout this next year, I'm sure my database of phrases will grow. Maybe I'll even be able to piece together cohesive sentences. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high.

That being said, I've learned how to communicate with a very limited vocabulary and quite a creative assortment of hand motions/facial expressions. I have a deep appreciation for western grocery stores and customer service, although I have learned to do without reading nutrition labels and returning items. I've learned how to adapt recipes using the ingredients I have on hand, and how to live without a proper oven.

I have gained weight and lost it and gained it again. I've struggled with body image a lot, not only in Korea. When I first arrived here, I was the healthiest and smallest I've ever been in my adult life. When I was home, it was easy to maintain. Unfortunately when I moved here it wasn't quite as easy settling into a diet and lifestyle that would have been effective in maintaining that version of myself. The excitement of new foods and effects of having a full time job and extracurriculars have taken a toll on my waistline. For a while I've had this, "OMG I need to lose weight before I visit Vegas. I need to look the same as when I left." Despite all the things hindering that goal (mainly my lack of desire to work out three times a day) I have done my best to foster a mindset that accepts myself as I am now - not worrying everyday about where I use to be and where I want to be. I've started living my life by making the best choices I can each day, and not beating myself up if I don't go to the gym. I feel much healthier and happier just by changing my mindset.

I've developed myself as a teacher, although not quite in the ways I was imagining. I've learned to roll with the punches and get kids to talk to me - and how to not be offended when they won't. I've figured out how to incorporate real lessons amongst boring book work. I've had a blast teaching my little students the different between "r" /"l" and "b"/"v". I still have to hold in my laughter when they just can't figure it out (despite my explicit, ridiculous examples of tongue/teeth placement).  Sometimes, especially with my younger students, I can feel my self becoming a bit agitated. I wasn't "taught" how to teach students I couldn't effectively communicate with. Let me tell you though, I am quickly learning. I raised my voice more than I ever, EVER imagined I would - mainly because sometimes that is the only way to get them to understand that I am upset. Thankfully my students are more accustomed to me at this point and I need nothing more than the "look of shame" to coerce them. There have been countless moments where I have been on the verge of losing my cool. All it takes is a breath or two, separating myself from the teacher perspective and settling into the observer role. Just watching them interact is enough to calm me down. Still, when I am feeling a bit out of control - I look at their cute little faces and innocent smiles and it's SO hard not to be happy. Even the most destructive ones have the ability to make me laugh when they are being unmanageable. Behavior management isn't one of my strong points. The line between teacher and friend will be endlessly blurred. 

I've learned more about English grammar than I thought was possible. I've discovered explanations for things I didn't even realize had one. Past Participle? Gerund? All new vocabulary to me. Psssh. I often have to warn my kids that most of the time, we are doing this whole "learning" thing together. Not only that, but I care more about grammar than I ever have before. Check my recent Google searches if you want proof.

I've experienced experience on top of experience, some of which can never be categorized or put into words. EXPERIENCE. My favorite word and ultimate goal in life. Sue me for saying it a thousand times; I would still think that being sued was a great learning experience. 

Pyeongchang County, Korea

It was two years ago that I was frolicking throughout Europe. Between my Timehop app and Dropbox account, I've had constant reminders of what mischief I was up to. It's weird looking back on those pictures and memories. I get this feeling. A weird combination of nostalgia and desire. I can remember what it felt like, living for a few weeks in a little Italian village or waking up spooning my backpack in a train station - but the specific and detailed hard copy memories have faded.

In a few years time, these moments I am living now will be reduced to not much more than a feeling. A feeling that categorizes my time spent in Korea. An association with a time that once was, triggered by a smell or a word or a song.

It's crazy, and almost humbling, to acknowledge this fact. I will constantly be replacing what once was with what is now. Shuffling through old memories for more current ones.

Eoreumchi Village - Pyeongchang County, Korea

Everything I do won't always be fresh in my mind. I can take thousands of pictures and write until my fingers are tired, the memories will still dwindle. Regardless, all the things I've done can never be undone. They will never become less meaningful. They will never stop having an impact on me, even after they've been forgotten.

Throughout my life there will be small, nanoseconds of recognition of the moments that had previously been lost in the jumble of my mind.  It's almost like a little gift that my brain is giving me. "Hey Ellie, you haven't thought about x, y, and z in years. Here's a little reminder."

To me, this is why it is SO important to be continuously be present. Not only is it increasingly difficult to be consumed with what has happened in the past and what you want to happen in the future; it takes away from what is happening now. Appreciate this moment for what it is RIGHT NOW. This is the only chance you have to feel it. Take it all in. Don't worry so much about recording it. Don't worry about the video footage or potential Instagram post. Focus on the smells and the sounds and how hard your heart is beating. Listen to the people who are speaking. Let the taste of the food sit on your tongue a little longer. Acknowledge your anxiety and how relieving it is to finally take your seat on the train or check into your hostel. Look around. Slow down. Live each moment wholeheartedly, because it will never be the same. You will never be able to do it justice through pictures, storytelling, or video compilation. Take as much as you can from the moment and let it become apart of you. That is your best chance at preservation. Expect less and experience more. EXPERIENCE.

Namehae Island crew, round 1

compile

It's been 6 months since I uploaded my last Korea video. I have done so much stuff it was close to impossible to condense all of my footage into 5 minutes, but it has been done!

A smidgen of my favorite memories are lucky enough to have been caught on tape. Shout out to my since lost Go Pro (R.I.P), Leena's, and Meygan's GoPros. Even a bigger shout out to all the beautiful souls that make appearances in this video and in the many memories that shape not only my Korean experiences, but my existence as a whole. Sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't' it?

Meow

One month of the year has already flown by. Time keeps speeding up, I swear. It's like, I blink my eyes and a full week has elapsed. I am completely settled into my routine, in love with all of my classes, and obsessed with my apartment.

This month I've been focusing on myself, a lot. I've been more active. I've made better diet choices, which is really difficult when you walk past countless bakeries and fried chicken joints day in and day out. I don't even like fried chicken that much. But the smell. I wish I could attach scents to blogs. You would understand the daily dilemmas I encounter based solely on my nose. 

It has been REALLY cold, per Vegas standards at least. I can't help but feel a little sting of jealousy as all my friends back home are sunbathing and eating brunch on patios in their tank tops.

I've been staying in my apartment, avoiding spending money, keeping warm. I've been reading (Harry Potter), writing more in my journal, and getting creative with crafts and watercolors and my home. Decorating and hanging up pictures and taking chairs off the side of the street. 

  My beautiful momma sent me a care package. Complete with swim suits (for Thailand), a Beatles magazine, and Phase 10 (the best card game known to man). I had a few friends over this past weekend, the first time I've "had people over". We made crock pot mac and cheese and played cards and drank honey magkeolli and wine and painted... basically all the things I liked to do back home. Hang out with good company, eat, and be creative. 

Pretty soon it will be time to resign a contract with my school. I am really looking forward to staying here. With my job and my students and apartment. With all the friends I've made. That also means that I am going to be needing a trip back home to visit. I miss everyone far too much to not come back. Thinking about it makes me feel all sorts of feelings. Being home JUST to visit. Limited time to spend with the people I love is going to feel like such a tease. I'll have to leave again, and leaving is the worst part. But, I keep telling myself it will be worth it.

Give me more JIMJIL

When my Korean coworkers invited me to a Jimjilbang with them, I was a little hesitant. I've always wanted to visit one, but with the people I work? Do I want to hang out naked with them, I have to look them in the eyes almost everyday. But, what the hell - right?

                                   

I didn't know what to expect going to a public bathhouse with my coworkers AND boss. So I decided to expect nothing. Except for being noody, that I knew was unavoidable. We drove an hour and a half outside of Ulsan to a Jimjilbang that wasn't in a mass building structure. Instead we pulled up to a quaint building across from a garden and a lotus field. Worth it. Especially because for the first 30 minutes we had the spa completely to ourselves.

You start by washing off your body and hair. No one wants to share a bath with a dirty ajumma. Or waygook for that matter. And the whole being naked thing? Got over that real quick. The whole environment was too perfect to not relax. After we hopped between to two spas (one hot and one cold) we rinsed off again and changed into our orange Jimjilbang outfits and went to meet our two male coworkers in the common area. 

They were already drenched in sweat from being in the massive hot sauna while waiting for us. We ducked our heads down to walk through the tiny door (yes, even I had to croch down a bit) and immediately broke into a sweat. Sitting in a circle and chatting it up while sweating a storm and making silly traditional Jimjilbang headwear was a highlight of the afternoon. 

To be honest, the whole afternoon was one big highlight for me... and for everyone else I think. Several times each of us exclaimed how happy we were. How relaxed we felt. How awesome our job is. HaeJoo, the boss man, brought us all sikhye while we were sitting outside cooling off. It's a transitional Korean rice drink. It's sweet and delicious and really hits the spot after being depleted of a mass amount of body water via the sauna. 

Then our group of lucky little ducklings were hearded through a "secret passage" connecting the Jimjilbang to a Korean BBQ joint - specializing in DUCK MEAT. Holy crap. I was in heaven. We didn't even have to change out of our cool attire or put shoes on. Eating is so much fun in this country. It's so interactive and fun to share and try new things. My chopstick skills, however, vary. Sometimes I'm a pro, other times I drop kimchi into my water. Hit or miss. I'm a firm believer that metal chopsticks makes it more difficult. Cop out. 

We waddled back to the spa and explored all the things they had to offer. A few sleeping rooms, where I took a quick but efficient power nap. They had massage chairs that felt like I was being pulverized. My legs and feet were at one point constrained and I couldn't remove myself from the chair. It was like a boa constrictor. Not gonna lie, it felt amazing. They also had lower tempurate saunas, or "burning rooms" as my cute Korean coworkers refer to them as. After another session of sauna and outside patio chat, we returned to the spa to shower and sit in the tub and shower some more. 

And then our perfect boss took us to dinner. Naengmeyong. Cold noodles. Perfect meal choice for the post Jimjilbang stomach. Even though I may have still been full from lunch - I did a pretty decent job keeping up with the Koreans eating pace. Their little stomachs sure can hold mass amounts of food, and they get it in there so fast! They were finished with theirs waaaay before most of us even made a dent in our massive pile of noodles. 

So, moral of the story? Get naked around the people you have to see everyday. 

There's a storm a brewin'

My apartment on the right

Normal. It's wild to me how normal everything feels. I've set my heart on being in Korea for so long that really, it just feels like I've come home. It's been relieving. I  didn't hate Las Vegas exactly, especially the last few months I was there. I was so happy spending my time with people who love and care about me, making amazing memories - because I knew I was leaving. I am so thankful for the memories I have to hold on to - with new friends and old friends alike.  If it wasn't for the people I surrounded myself with, there probably wouldn't be much for me to miss.

Coming into this experience I was most excited about my job. A REAL job hasn't been on my agenda for over a year, since before I left for Europe in  June 2013. I can't explain how ecstatic I am to finally be putting the past few years of studying in affect. I have a job that I am passionate about. A job that makes me feel like I am making an impact. One that is always challenging me to be better, for myself and for my students. Teaching English isn't just something I want to do for a year to get away - this is a career choice. A life choice. To finally be taking the first step towards my future is exhilarating. 

Edward the Snow Prince blowing out his birthday candles

And my own apartment! Which is paid for by my employers? The best. It is bare as hell right now, and will be until I get my first paycheck - but it's MINE. Soon enough it will be decorated in memorabilia from my travels and cheap furniture from Gmarket. It will really feel like home in no time. I am even sewing my own pillow cases.

I love living alone. I'm such a loner on the inside, it's nice to be able to come home and not worry about anything and to have my own space. Mine, mine, mine. Anyways, I have a friend right next door if loneliness ever creeps up. 

This week there is a typhoon headed straight for Japan, my next door neighbor. It's missing us, thankfully - but we are still getting loads of rain and lightning and thunder and I LOVE IT. It's ironic, because Vegas is having similar weather which isn't typical for them at all. The weather here, although humid, is a refreshing change from the Vegas heat.

My first month here is going to be very grounding. I don't get paid till August. I'm on a budget where won't be able to do all the things I want to or, more importantly, EAT all the things I want to. The good thing is, I have plenty of time. When I first got here I was excited about going out and experiencing EVERYTHING. I've now realized that's not going to happen all at once. I want to be here for a while, there is no rush. I have time to learn the language and discover the country, and more importantly Ulsan - my city. I have time to eat at every whole in the wall restaurant my that lines the streets of my neighborhood. I have time to travel to other Asian countries, but I'm not going to make that a priority like I first intended too. Instead, after I'm done living in Korea I would rather save money and take a chunk of time off to travel. 6 months should about do it :) A long weekend here and there simply won't cut it for me anyways. That's not enough time to fully explore a country, or even a city for that matter.

Korean Pancakes - kimchijeon and panjeon

Anyways, Japan is on the agenda for August. Let me tell you how damn exciting it is to be planning my trip and figuring out what I want to do while I'm there. I'm starting with Couchsurfing. That's the way to go. Free, number one. And you get the chance to meet awesome locals who always show you a different side of a city. Not your typical tourist agenda. Sign me up. I'm taking baby steps with Japan. It's close to my home and flights are cheap. I want to explore every nook and cranny of that country, eventually. For now I'm sticking to Osaka, Kyoto, and other places in the Western Honshu region. I definitely need to check some cultural experiences off my list.